I'm awake.
sort of.
I crashed out for something like five or six hours and had some strange dreams.
I know it was something tangled up with the roomate mess. I dreamt that there were two bedrooms in my apartment (which there really are. though the apartment in my dream wasn't really my apartment at all.) and there was furniture in my room that wasn't mine and for some reason all my furniture was set up outside.
yea I pretty much guess this means that I don't feel welcome in my house like I should be sleeping outside.
hell I haven't felt welcome in my own place for weeks like I'm some sort of intruder in my house so it's not so starnge I would dream that.
it sucks because I was so excited to get this place. so excited to have my own space after not having any for so long and of course that was all ruined. I don't know if things are going back to normal or not. There is still a ton of silence going on and all this resentment for me taking back some of my own time and not wanting to share the house with a third person that isn't even paying rent here. fucking ridiculous.
it wasn't like I suddenly snapped I had been telling my roomate for weeks I didn't want her here all the time and instead of the time she spent over here lessening it increased, to like every waking moment that she wasn't at work. I'm tired of being the bad guy.
oh well.
I'm pretty the dishes won't be done when I get back. since I did their dishes on Monday I would think it would be fair but I'm sure I'll end up doing the dishes that are in the sink now. a good number of them are mine so I'll just have to deal. My mother is coming over on Friday which means tomorrow will be spent cleaning because she hasn't seen the place yet and I would love for it to look nice when she gets here. I'm probably hoping for too much.