what a horribly awkward day.
I survived without getting a major case of the crazies...... my sister and my brother came over and it was weird. Lots of silences and sort of nothing to do and nothing to say but next time it will be better. eventually it won't be so weird. I hope.
then I had to tell JB that I've been going on dates with someone. not that I owed him some sort of explaination about the choices I make but I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. but I also have an obligation to this other person and I don't want to hide what's up just because I feel I have to protect someone who dumped me. It wasn't easy but it was the right thing to do. I have this feeling that JB is just going to pretty much cut off contact with me and I think that kind of sucks but things are pretty complicated between us. I think I shocked him a little with what I said. But we both can't go on jerking each others chain about how we want or think things are going to be neither of us have any answers and it's time to just say ok, let's just let this all go.
I have a good feeling about this other person but I'm definately trying to avoid the rebound thing because that can get so ugly.
The feelings I had for JB were very serious and very strong and underneath it all a lot of them are still there but maybe I'm learning when to stop beating a dead horse. and this other person has a lot of potential and is a great guy. luckily for me he has a lot of patience and understanding not to mention is fully aware of the situation. I just want to get to know him better. He's already surprising me in the things he says and does.... in a good way. and that's very exciting.