so I had a nice phone call from Sara (see that's my happy picture.....)
and then I jumped online and well now I know why *someone* thinks I'm a nut. my friends keep emailing him. ok I started it by letting them know his email address. but you guys! I know you guys have my best interests at heart I'm trying to work on stuff but when my friends are emailing him well then it shows that no matter how cool I'm playing it I'm making a huge freaking deal out of this which I kinda don't want him to know that. oh well too late.
I finally have a plan of action. all I can do is let him do his thing and go do my thing. I'm probably going to go out with joe a couple more times as long as he knows it's not going anywhere just hang out and have fun it's not a relationship.
eventually the other one will either come around or he won't but I'm tired of waiting for him to make up his mind. when he's ready he'll get in touch with me. or he won't *shrug* I wanted ot be the one thing in his life that isn't fuked up right now, but insists on fucking it up so who am I to fight it. I like him, he likes me. maybe it'll happen maybe it won't...... I should have taken this attitude a long time ago. I've been going to him and pursuing him and well fuck that noise. he wants me he can pursue me. end of story because up until this point, I've been wearing myself out trying to chase him and now I'm tired.
