dear god, yes it is another entry......
out of fucking control!
what the hell else am I gonna do besides sit here and write and try to figure out what the hell is going on in my head. Not like anyone currently living in this apartment is speaking to me anyhow.
I just snapped. not like postal worker snapped. snapped like, I don't know, strangly calm.
maybe I just needed to let something out. I was talking to wagon wheel..... good old always happy bland wagon wheel, and I just went calm. no more sniffly.
I made an excellent point more to myself than him.
would I really want to be even keil? ok I would like to be more even keil than I am true. (figurin out ways to work on that) but do I really want to be middle of the road don't really feel anything happy all the time?
no I don't.
I would be missing out on something.
how would I know if something is great, wonderful, fabulous, if all I know is good and don't feel really bad ever?
Sometimes I get really low. but when I get happy it's really high. and I would be missing that mindless glee that splits my face wide open in the biggest smile ever and makes me giggle. I don't want to lose that.
I need to find a way to make the lows not so crushing though. and a much shorter time span.
and on a completely different note I just got some spam saying I could enlarge my penis safely and naturally...... I think I should email them back and tell them I don't have one. nor do I want one.