called M. gave her the run down of the night's events which I guess she already got. damn grapevine. Like I've said before if you think about something too hard at work everyone knows what it is and is talking about it.
I've been gathering advice in odd places.
kind of out there when you're seeking advice about someone you want to see from someone you used to see. but for some reason he seemed like the logical person to ask (Yes, I am aware that my logic and your logic. not the same thing.) he seemed actually kinda of interested in what was going on. which was even more bizarre.
I bit the bullet and called (name of person) after I talked to M. seemed like the thing to do. he knew who it was before I even said who i was (we have called ID blocked so I guess he's got ESP. or he just knew I would call)
he has plans tonight (he fucked up his car in my roomate's parent's driveway last night so he and his brother are fixing it) but he's suppose to call me tomorrow and tell me what's up. I have no idea what we'll do if we do go ut and do something. haven't thought that far ahead.
last night when I was going to leave we were facing each other in our cars. (he had blocked the driveway and was turning around) we sat there for a moment just waiting for the other to do something. I swear that is the story of my life. Sitting there waiting for somehting to happen. As I pulled past him he gave me this grin and I swear that was it. that was when I was hooked.
normaly you can't pin point a moment like that. that moment when you say "Oh boy now I'm in trouble." but there it was. despite all my misgivings about all of this (which I'm still trying to sorta cling to because I just have this bad feeling) I knew I was in right then. if he likes he likes me. if he doesn't well it won't break my heart or anything but I know I'm gonna at least give it a shot.
he was telling all these stories last night... horrible horrible stories that should have made me like him less. I know everyone was thinking they were making me like him less but they weren't there were actually *gulp* making me like him more. he just didn't seem to care if he was impressing me or not (bad sign)
I've never been one to go for trouble makers and he is such a trouble maker. I'm just strangely attracted to him even though everything says I shouldn't be.
egads, what does it all mean?