Another freaking six day work week, will it never end?
I am such an impatient person. not for the reasons it would always seem though. Case and point, that guy I went out with, the one I really liked talking to, that I had a good time with. Well he's been out of town and he comes back at some point this week. Only I'm not sure when. So I've been checking around seeing if he's back yet. Not because I'm all anxious to see him, but because I'm anxious to find out if he's going to call me when he gets back or to just move on and forget about him.
Not to say I don't give a rat's ass about talking to him, because I would like to see him again. But I'm alla wound about when he's getting back not so I can see him, but to just figure out if he likes me enough to call me or not.
I'm sure there is no logic at all in any of that. But no one has ever accused me of being logical, so at least it's in character. Wouldn't it be mortifying if he found this? Yes, I think it would. Then again knowing his cocky little arrogant self not so well, but well enough, he'd get swelled head syndrome or something. Actually I have a feeling he'd just let it roll off him. He doesn't seem to need anyone else to say anything good about him to get all puffed up, and could probably care less what I think about him.
Someday, if he's still around I'll get into why I'm attracted to him because really on so many levels it goes completely against pretty much everything I normally go after in a guy, and I haven't decided if this is a good change or a bad change in my choice in men.
Sometimes you get that little whiff of danger. That possibility things could go be good and then very bad....... that sinking feeling in your stomach that you could, if you let yourself, fall hard. I think I smelled a little of that danger in the air, of what could be. Not saying that's how it's going to be, because we don't know each other. But the spark.... it's there, at least on my side I don't know about him.
I guess this shows that I'm over JB for once and for all. Or at least over it enough to really be interested in someone again. And, really, could I have picked someone more completely different? Personality, looks, polar opposites. Dark hair, blonde hair. Not tall, very tall. Cocky and confident, cripplingly insecure. Outgoing, super shy.
The thing is even I know that seeking out the exact opposite doesn't help anything. More than likely this is as doomed as that one was. Way to have a positive attitude!
I can only be me and if it works great. If we date, great. If we don't, I think I'm learning not to take it so personally. I'm working on saying that more convincingly.
Am I ever going to grow up and not have this boy angst like a middle school girl? Maybe when I'm 40.