"My stupid mouth....."
So I took a giant risk. Leapt off the cliff. The landing wasn't as hard as it could have been.
"She said 'well anyway' just dying for a subject change......"
I'm not sure how it will go. I'm not writing it off but I am taking a step back. Lots of stupid things were said, if I could erase a night I just might.
"It's another social causality, score one more for me....."
but it's how things go. Everything happens for a reason. There are a lot of bumps on the road.
"I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me......."
sometimes you know what you should do and you don't. You just go along with what you want to do. Not because it feels right but because screwing up is what you know. And they said to go with what you know.... right? Then you get frustrated because things turned out exactly how you didn't want them to. But you go with what you know.
"One more thing, why is this my fault? maybe I try too hard....."
I don't know if things are irreversibly damaged. There were so many things being said as well as not being said. A toxic mix of what I didn't want to hear and what I did. and what it all meant was lost for that moment. for the path I chose I don't regret what I did, I just possibly regret the path. But I'm not even sure of that.
Looks like the jokes on me, Well call me Captian Backfire"
For a day I was lulled into letting my guard down and that's not so bad. It feels bad but I know that I spend so much time with it up that is has to come down sometimes. I just wish it didn't have to make such a loud crash so everyone could hear. A sucker for comfort that's what I am. That and just a sucker.
"Oh, I'm never speaking up again, starting now....."