So uh yea.
this weekend was so fucked up.
I'm not going into specifics.
at least for once it's not me who should be getting thier head on straight.
for once it's not me pushing someone away. (alright I pushed a little but it was only a half hearted shove and we both knew it.)
I'm tired of being scared of what's going to happen to me.
I wish I could do things without being worried about the consquences. Occasionally I think to myself consquences be damned and I did a little of that this weekend.
there seem to be a lot of voices out there telling me I'm too hard on myself. But it's the only way I know how to be.
I don't know for sure but maybe not all hope is lost. Only time can tell. if all hope is lost it's not because I gave up.
so there.
take that.