I'm just prolific today.....
prolific I say! strange how it only took a half an hour to get myself back under control.
I just had to remind myself of some things.
there are forces working for me. There are. I know there are or I wouldn't have come as far as I have.
something or someone out there is looking out for me.
I have been incredibly lucky. I've survived when there were odds against me. So many times I could have just laid down and died and I somehow managed to make it a tiny step to another tiny step.
things are uncertain, I won't say they aren't.
but everything really does happen for a reason. I have to remember. I must believe. I'm learning from my mistakes. no more toxic people no more toxic situations. no more second best or hidden slights.... most of the bad things in my life have fallen away..... this last truely bad thing is falling away... my job..... I just have to stay positive. I will find soemthing better I'll do something better. things will be better.
I am grateful for where I am as scary as it is.
I have to stop looking at it like I don't know what I'm going to do and see it as there isn't anything I can't do... my options are wide open like, I don't know..... maybe wide open like Christina Skank-u-lria's thighs?
you'll go as far as you'll let yourself go.......
Maybe I'm finally ready... no, not maybe. I am. period. end of statement.
I think I just became my own fiction. what a beautiful thing...... occasionally you do become what you've fashioned in theory.... aw too bad I didn't fashion Mads to be a lottery winner..... I guess I'll have settle for balance and a little bit of inner harmony. doesn't sound like much of a settle when I think about it. The inner harmony bit is rather cheesy, but hey. a spade is a spade.