D, Vince, and I went to see Two Towers last night... good stuff. but don't get a coke... cause you'll have to pee and you won't want to go but you'll really really have to and then everyone will get pissed because they have to let you out because you're sitting middle and then they get pissed again because they have to let you back in and by the time you've finally gotten to go pee you've missed part of the movie and the entire theater hates you. Trust me on this one.
or you could just wear a diaper I guess..... not really a fashion statement I'm looking to make.
I'm thinking at the movies along with the "please turn off your cell phones and shut the hell up during the movie," announcement there should be a "really hot guys sitting one row in front of you have to go somewhere when you can not readily see them so they aren't so damn distracting."
he was super cute, and oddly familar though where I might know him from I have no idea. He didn't really distract me during the movie because it was holding my attention, but during previews... well. I guess I should have made a move cause it's not like I'll ever see him again.
Ha! I could make this like one of those silly personal ads you see where someone is trying to find someone they passed once on a street.
"you, blue jacket with postal patch, baseball hat and silly glasses.... me, blue jacket, red scarf, red hair, red converse.... Gaslamp 8pm Two Towers showing 12/20"
wow how utterly pathetic would that be? The funny thing is I'm not really in desperation mode.
in all truth right at this second I need a scorecard to keep track of the boys I'm talking to. This of course could all change next week.
There is Tardy,
The drummer,
Mexican Wrestling guy,
The Vet,
and there was someone else... damn it I really can't keep track.
So there is more than talking that has transpired with Tardy because we went out a few times and I liked him alot and all that jazz but now I just don't know what's going to happen there. Probably nothing. He probably only got in touch with me because he thinks it's a no effort deal, not because he actually missed my sparkling company..... hmmm new and improved... even more bitter and jaded than before. Though secretly I'm not as bitter and jaded as I make it out to be. If I was I wouldn't have even given hima chance to explain, which I did. Which I've heard nothing back on that just yet. But he's in Mexico this weekend for work.
I'm trying to find the balance between being openminded and being understanding... and not getting stepped all over. it's not something I've mastered quite yet. usually I get stepped all over until I get fed up with and I blow a fuse.
the other thing I've been thinking about. and I so hate this. I can not tell you how much I hate this. It is quite likely that I should not be in a realtionship right now anyway. Not that I don't want one if I found someone and we hit it off and everything was wonderful but really honestly with everything going on I don't think I could maintain a realtionship while I try once again to get my life together into something managable. Doesn't mean I'm not crazy enough to try though. I have this habit. I know I shouldn't do certain things. but I want it to work out so badly that I pursue things at least in the romance area even when I know it's a bad idea.
wow this has been one of those rambly free thought entries I started with being at Two Towers and having to pee and ended up with how I shouldn't be in a relationship.
I wish I were one of those people that could date a bunch of people at the same time. but I'm really not. I mean I make a good show of it. But there is always one that I end up finding more suitable than the rest. There always ends up being one that I would rather spend time with. I get cold and distant with the rest of them until the drift away so the one I chose can dump me. OK only here's where the story differed this time around. because this is exactly what happened when I met Tardy I chose him over the others. (though the others didn't drift away they all became my friends.... except mr touchy feely who if I see him again I may have to kick his ass because he bugs me) and Tardy didn't exactly dump me. I thought he had. when I thought he had come back from Seattle right before Thanksgiving I guess he hadn't been home at all that he just got home last weekend or this weekend or something like that. Now that does not excuse the fact that he never called me once while he was there. not once. I heard nothing for over a month. So I have two options that I can believe about what happened when he came back to town. He still liked me and just for some reason never called while he was gone but had every intention of continueing to see me when he got back here. or he had no plan to but he's looking for an easy score and happens to think I'll be an easy score.
I don't know.
when it rains it pours.
my life is never ever boring. I should be thankful for that I suppose.
ha, just when I think I'm ready to finish this up something else pops into my head.
whatever happens I always make it through. sometimes in better condition than other times..... I came out of the Tardy sitch the first time around ok.... one minor freak out, drunken crying...... but it wasn't too bad really.
I don't know I was very kick back relaxed about him and it wasn't because of lack of interest. I don't know I was just different with him.
I guess that's why I'm giving him another shot. inside I'm an optimist... or at least I have hope somewhere deep inside despite my gloom and doom outlook.
whoo would have guess that I'm not as much of a pessimist as I pretend to be.
ok I need a shower and some food and yet another trip to the home depot so I will indeed finally wrap this monster up....... who need therapy? not me not me.