I spent the day with Diana, it was good. relaxing. we just shopped and had some lunch ect. I wish I had advice for her but I have nothing.
finally saw Chocolate..... it was very good.
I did not call Andy, yay me...... congressional intern boy did not call me. boo.
not sure what I'm gonna do about any of it really, but hey there is always the option of not doing anything. maybe I spend too much time trying to figure out what to do when I should just let things happen. Yea. like I could ever be that relaxed.
talked to Sara ever so briefly today. luvers you, hope things get better, my dear.
I'm feeling better today which is good.
life is very strange sometimes it hands you not what you want but what you didn't know you needed.....
there are things going on now that I'm not sure I understand but it's definately time to step back and at least acknowledge their existance.... and try not to figure them out. right now the key word is relax. don't get so bent out of shape when things don't go the way I expect.
instead of crying over sitting in a resturant alone with book just be happy I thought to bring the book in the first place.
supposivly everything happens for a reason I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe that just yet. but stranger things have happened. maybe Jason didn't show for a reason maybe I was meant to learn something. maybe maybe maybe. today maybe will be replacing my "I don't knows"
Maybe what Jason represents, maybe I'm not ready for that yet. I have too far to go still before that will happen. if it were to happen now I'd just fuck it up anyway. maybe.
if there is anything I excel at these days is fucking things up. maybe if I quit worrying about fucking things up I won't. ok that was a stretch...... a major stretch but something to think about all the same.
has it been noted that I think alot and don't do much? less thinking and more action? I'll think about it............
this entry has been brought to you by the words "maybe" and "probably", "not", "gonna", and "Happen"......
is gonna a word. I think not.
update: things are never simple. no nickname boy who wasn't asking me out. who I thought didn't like me now would like me to call him. when it rains it pours. 3 completely different boys. I can't have them all..... I don't think, well hell maybe I could but I don't know if I'm that good at juggling. add another maybe to my list........