I need to stop looking at cool things other people are doing.
ugh it just makes me end up feeling bad about not havinga talented bone in my body.
I can't sing, I can sorta dance as long as there is no structured steps or anything complicated like that,I can't draw or paint, or play an instrument, and well my writing..... well if you've been here you've read it and well it speaks for it's self and it doesn't say really great or moving things.
I'm just envious of people who can say things in a much more eloquent manner than myself. I just feel like I'm fumbling with words here trying to get my point across and only accomplishing that half the time.
and then I read something that someone else wrote and I'm just envious. they always seem to find a better way to say what they have to say than I would were I saying the same thing they are saying........ know what I mean? (yes that right there, exactly what I'm talking about. it makes no sense. Do I word things oddly? Do I use the word odd alot? Am I asking too many questions?)
I move on. There is also something inherinatly lazy about me. I honestly wonder if some of these people out there work on their journal entries for hours proof reading and re-writing.... spellchecking...... eeek I cringe at the thought. I don't know my attention span just isn't that long. I want to get what's in my brain out slap it down for everyone to look at it all gross and freshly ripped out of my head. instead of taking the time to clean it up and let it dry out. eww I just made my thoughts sound like a tumor or something that's icky.... but appropriate.
I hope there are no English teachers out there who read this because I would hate to be the reason they have nightmares about the failings of our public education system. (Dear lord this girl spent how many years in college and she still can't spell? Yes, but she's a slacker and never got a degree. not that they give degrees in spelling anyway. Though if they did Becky might have one she's an excellent speller, even backwards. The things you elarn while playing board games with your friends.)
to make a long random and fairly boring entry short. My journal feels inferior to the other journals out there, but I am to lazy to comfort it and make it better and god forbid interesting to read. I'm sorry journal, you'll just have to live with your low self esteem.......