I've always wondered just how much chance has to do with anything.
my roomate has this theory that nothing is coincidence... I'm not sure how much I subscribe to that idea.
It certainly seems that way sometimes. finding a perfect chain of events after the fact isn't all that uncommon. but I just wonder if it isn't human nature to try to make something orderly out of the random events.
For instance the whole SP situation.
he gets mentioned in conversation between D and I on the way to Coachella. which in itself could be seen as kinda of unusual, not that I had forgotten about him because I hadn't but he doesn't come up in everyday conversation for the most part. Then later the same day when I'm walking by myself I see him, and of course do not know what to say so I pretty much take off in the other direction. I didn't see him again all day. The chances of me seeing him there aren't really all the bad, though I haven't seen him in a year and half. There were a lot of people there, yes. But it was a huge LA kinda thing that I wasn't surprised he was interested in. Yes, ok, lots of chance involved in actually running into him, but I ran into a lot of people I knew at least in passing that day.
Weeks later while unpacking I find his number. I thought I had thrown away pretty much anything that might have had it it on it but considering the nature in which I left LA, not surprising that things got packed away that I didn't know were there. I didn't even pack my own things, so I wouldn't have even known where to look for it had I known it was there. Those boxes had been in my garage since I moved. I unpacked everything (ok not everything, but lots of stuff)so the chances of me finding something I didn't think I had aren't all that slim. Ok, ok, so I found his number twice.... that is sorta pushing it but it just means that I'm not as good at throwing things away as I thought I was.
I did call him. We talked for awhile. I felt better about how everything went down and of course my crush on him came back. Did this mean we were meant to be just because all the things seemed to point to the idea that I needed to get in touch with him?
Obviously not because the next week I called him and left him a message because I wanted to ask him if he wanted to get together and have dinner and he never called back. See. it all meant diddly squat.
well not diddly squat, it gave a nice wrapping up of loose ends. A little closure. And a pretty good indication that he's not gonna be in my life because he hasn't changed one bit. And who needs the headache.
And maybe I'll go on to meet someone else, who is really nice, and funny, and good looking..... maybe I already have. The jury is out, and it's pretty damn picky these days. But that's another entry for another time when I have a better idea of what's up on that one.
I'm still not even sure what point i was making with this, I guess just that you think things are happening for a certain reason, but it's not always the reason you think. I'm happy I had my run in with Mr. SP. Both of them actually. It ended like crap with great heartbreak the first time around. Funny how that's the end of alot of my stories. But that wasn't really the end. A year and half later it turned out not so bad. I'm not even dissapointed. Which is so incredibly rare for me because I'm always dissapointed.
Yea, still don't know where I was going when I started this. Pullitzer Prize Winner I am not.