so here is how things went in the Turkey Vortex.....
went to mom's..... feeling pretty damn crappy for lack of sleep and dehydrated from drinking the night/morning before. The mom being one who has seen her share of partying gave me a B-12 which perked me up a little.
I had thought about wearing my slippers to Thanksgiving but went instead with flip flops which are pretty damn close... also I wore my fat pants. the fat panst were no match for large quantities of food and I may have to look into finding some bigger fat pants.
My Aunt and Uncle's new house is fabulous, and I can tell my aunt is just thrilled to have a place that is more like what she wanted in the first place.
we ate and we ate and we ate..... ok I ate and I ate and I ate.
as if my family were not crazy enough on their own we seem to adopt other really crazy people that no one else wants. My aunt has this one lady that we've all known for years, around my grandmother's age...... and she is just strange. one of those people that no one really entirely likes but she means really well so we keep her around. She proceeded to get sloshed and have the same conversation about the salad she was making me take home three seperate times. That was about the time that my aunt cut her off from the wine.
my mom and my grandma sorta jokingly started in with each other. My mom is so funny sometimes I can't even stand it. we were making jokes about my other aunt and uncle always being late and how we always had to wait on them and it would serve them right if just pinned the turkey carcas on the door with a note that said "Ate with out you, here's yours." to which my grandmother informed my mom that she was mean. my mom looks at her dead pan and asked "What? are you new? I've always been mean." Gram said something about how she thought my mother would have grown out of it by now and mom just said "No, I've just refined it."
and for some strange reason at the table we all started talking about my grandfather who is in the nutty bin. I guess one of my aunt's was unaware of this, I guess she thought he was dead or something. The man is 91 and I don't think he'll be dying anytime soon. he ended up in the loony bin after being hit by a truck and breaking ribs and an arm and fracturing his skull.... and then cracking his head on the steps and getting a concussion... all in the same year. While he was in the hospital he escaped and the found him in some woman's shed with his hospital gown on backwards taking apart her lawn mower. They decided that maybe it was time to put him in a locked facilty...... good call, I say.
he's been through 2 wars, years of being a fall down staggering drunk, getting hit by a car while riding his bike drunk, getting hit by a truck crossing the street drunk, splitting his head open on some concrete steps... yea, you guessed it, again drunk, and a heart attack or 2...... he's made it this far I doubt he's going anywhere soon. It's a shame really because I'm pretty sure the wait staff in hell are tired of holding his table for him. but that is neither here nor there. I know that sounds mean but from what I know we're all pretty glad we don't know him all that well. racist and hateful don't even begin to cover it. I won't go into anything specific but my mom told me some stories.
collapse is upon me. Oh glorious sleep!