I made it home in one piece last night.
For the most part.
I think I might have frightened poor Mr B&B with my mini mental break down.
I suppose I should back track and say where I went. I went out to transmission since a little birdy had reminded me that I didn't have to work today.
It's a damn fucking good thing I don't have to work today. The drinks are $2 until midnight and they don't water it down a whole lot.
anyone with a half a brain can assume that I am hung over.... and they wouldn't be wrong.
It was one of those bizarre bad/good nights. I had fun and then not fun.... with a big old fat pinch of what the fuck just happened there thrown in for a good measure.
some of it I can't even talk about..... or maybe I just don't want to.
I have to say that I really like Transmission, if only if only it weren't on a Weds when I have to work on Thursdays or I would be there all the time.
It just has a way more kick back vibe than other places. any how.....
we went and ate afterwards..... and there was this guy (yes yes I know. There is always *this guy*. There were actually many *this guy*'s last night) anyhow there was eye contact. he would look I would stare. his friend would stare back..... and what did I do? absolutly fucking nothing. (all derrivitives of fuck are the word for the day)
now you ask why did I do nothing? was it nerves? was it that I'm a pussy? was it that I'm not over that other guy?
no.
it's that I'm done I give up.
I will flirt, I will make eyes, I will talk to guys, and I might occasionally put my tongue in their mouth but I am done. I'm not dating anymore (shut up shut up shut up, I'm serious! I am!) dating is highly overrated for one and highly personally damaging for another..... at least to me. don't let it get out that I'm this tender little sensitive soul. people might actually want to talk to me... probably only to see how long it takes to crush me, but still no matter what motivations I think I would rather not be talked to.
alright off to be sucked into the vortex of turkey. I don't even like turkey.