I've found that when I stay in bed for a long period of time it makes my back hurt. Doesn't stop me from sleeping in when I get the chance. I must sleep in weird positions or something. when I only get 6 or 7 hours it doesn't bother me, but if I go for 9 or 10 my lower back aches when I wake up. I wonder why.
had a big a sharing monet last night on the phone with one of the boys where I spilled my guts. I used to get really upset when I told these stories. I couldn't get through them without bursting into tears. I only got upset at one point where I thought I might lose some composure. I guess time is taking it's toll and making it less horrible.
I feel a little guilty. This year my younger half sister graduated form high school and I didn't even acknowledge it because of not speaking to my dad and his wife. I'm very proud of her and she's a good kid and I know it probably hurts her that I haven't been around. But I just don't know how to do it without putting her in the middle of it all. I don't want them asking her about me and about why I'm not speaking to them. So I just haven't gotten in touch with her. Besides I wouldn't know what to say. "Hey kid, I haven't talked to you ina year and half and I'm not gonna tell you why. but what's up?" Naw I don't think so. I'm sure she's mad at me, I'm sure they are all mad at me. I don't blame them, I sort cut out, I had very very good reasons, but I still cut out on them.
*sigh* things are complicated to say the least.
alright off to the showers and to think about cleaning the house, and to do that thing.
yea, you know the thing.