I was trying to explain my new dating philosphy to someone tonight. I think they thought I was nuts.
I'm just over the "industry standard" dating game. I was never good at it in the first place.
if I like someone I want to call them, so I'm going to. if they feel that I'm benig clingy or bothersome, well then there is someone out there who will appreciate the attention.
everyone always assumes that it has something to do with sex. it has nothing to do with sex.
you can only be who you are. eventually if you are trying to be someone else and act a certain way because you seem to think that that is how a girl should be it's going to backfire on you.
I'm not a girly girl. I'm still female, but I'm not girly. I won't ever be girly. my personality is way too strong for that....
I've just grown too tired for the game playing. I am who I am. I guess that's why I like this new guy. he has pretty good read about who I am and seems to enjoy my company anyway *snerk*
and no he doesn't always call when he says he will.... and he's not 6'4 and have a washboard stomach but we can sit there and have conversations. we like being in each other's company and if at some point he decides he doesn't enjoy my comapny so much or I don't enjoy his then it's not the end of the world.
I got a little panicky awhile back about him not calling and I really feel silly about it. I should have remembered something at the time and I didn't.
I don't know. I'm not going to say this is "the one" because I honestly don't know and for the most part I'm not even asking myself that. I'm just finding that the more confidence I have in myself.... not really about the way I look but just about the way I am the more lucky I seem to get. even if things don't work out I've already learned something from being around him.
He's not seeing me because I'm some drop dead gorgeous super model. He's seeing me because I'm fun, because I'm smart, because I'm real. And that's who I want to be with. He doesn't have to tell me I'm pretty, I just know. I spent so long being insecure, needing someone to tell me all these things. And it was never quite right, never enough..... never the right thing. Instead what I needed to find was someone who could show me.
Geez how sappy is that?
I'm not saying it's gonna last forever, that this is "it" for me..... I'm just saying I'm getting closer to what I never knew that I was looking for.