Maybe I secretly like making myself unhappy. because I always seem to want too much from people. It's not that what I want is so outrageous, it's just who I'm expecting it from. Which of course leads to me being pissed off and dissapointed. I'm sick of being dissapointed.
I am also sick of sitting on the fucking sidelines.
I'm cute.
I'm funny.
I'm smart.
and yet I'm alone. and it's looking like I could be alone for awhile. There are tons of stupid girls out there that can seem to attract men, stupid girls that are way less cute than me.... (whoa moment of egotism there.... sorry it'll pass.) and yet I can't seem to make it happen.
Let's not talk about the last time I had sex, it's been awhile and it wasn't even good sex so it doesn't count.... and not to mention that guy pretended like everything was wonderful. Kissed me good bye the last time I saw him, and then never called......... not even to say "you know this isn't working" or "I hate you" no nothing. silence. I hate that. good thing he wasn't a great lay or I might not have ever recovered, because as a person I liked him a lot. ok he was an alien from another planet but I liked him.
I guess I just don't now how to keep a boy interested. I can't play those stupid girl games...... not saying that every girl plays games mind you. Girls who have the "spark" don't really need to play games. because they have the "spark" *ahem*
have I mentioned how really unfair life is? save some chocolate for me 'kay?