One of the girls I work with always takes a smoke break with me and we've been talking about this situation with the guy, the guy who may or may not be a my soulmate as predicted by the psychic.
I don't know if I believe in the concept of soulmates first off, because they way I figure it with every new thing you learn and experience your soul changes. So unless this person is going to learn and change in the exact same way you are for the rest of your lives how can you be soulmates? I mean eventually you're just going to change in different ways. Who I am right now is not who I'll be in 5 years, so my soulamte of now might not be my soulmate in 5 years.
I've been telling myself for a long time that I don't want to be with anyone, that I like to be single. And it's not a lie, I'm a failure at relationships. Being in a relationship makes me miserable, and yet I feel like I'm always looking at least for companionship, when maybe I shouldn't be.
Maybe I should just be cool on my own, but when I'm alone I miss something that I never had. That sort of dream coziness that doesn't really exist, or maybe it does and I'm just not doing it right.
Mentally, sleeping all cuddled up to some cute boy sounds great, in actuality his arm is too heavy, he snores, and his leg keeps twitching and he's keeping me awake.
Another example, in my 'Cozy Dreamland' We're walking hand and hand down 3rd Street Promanade shopping. Actuality, My legs are too short to keep up, he doesn't like to shop and I rush and don't buy anything because he's so bored I feel guilty.
Is it just that I don't have a romantic bone in my body? I want someone to wow me. I want some guy to look at me and be starstruck. I want to be able to cuddle with someone for a whole night and not feel claustrophobic (yea however you spell that) I'm tired of realtionships were we sit on seperate couches and watch tv, because him breathing on me is annoying, or he's too big for us to both fit on the couch, or I just can't get comfortable because his elbow is poking me or whatever.
I want snuggly, cuddly, sappy, girl stuff, I want to be close to someone. I want something more.
I want someone to look at me and think "She's the one."
So now I'm just sititng here wondering "Is he the one?"