crap crap and more crap
I was really make leaps and bounds in the personality catagory of not being a nut. of not wanting too much too soon. of not looking at the future too closely. of going with the flow and being *ack* patient.
I wasn't pushy
I wasn't demanding
what do I get rewarded with?
a heaping serving of incredibley unappatizing uncertainty.... like something from the scooper of the hairnetted lunch lady I'm turning my nose up at it and wondering what it could possibly be made of.
I've been on my best behavoir... just like not myself. no asking questions about where this is going about what he wants from me...... and now all I can do is wait and test this new patience.
lucky me.... I hate tests.... is there a scantron I would prefer multiple choice.
he was going to go look for an apartment today instead tomorrow morning he'll be flying away (maybe since he hasn't called to tell me either way)
it could all still work out, I guess that's why I'm not freaking out *too* much.... yes a mild freak out I'll cop to.
no more questioning. I'm just waiting and seeing. either it will or it won't. and if it doesn't well then I learned something valuable.
it does happen when you're not really looking and sometimes it's not lightening and thunder and it's still wonderful.....
I was laying there this morning looking at him sleep (oh my Lord how incredibly sappy and lame does that sound) trying to figure out why I'm so incredibly drawn to him, what exactly it is that makes one person attracted to another? I couldn't find an answer. the nature of attraction I suppose...... who knows what makes your hormones go crazy. maybe it's the freckles?
all I know is I'm waiting for him to figure out and let me know what he wants from me... and I'm trying to figure out what I want from him. and if it means I wait for 2 months while he's gone, well then I wait because it's worth it.
on a less important note... I went grocery shopping. YAY food..... 50 some dollars and not a single meat product...... weird. I never cook meat so I guess it's not that weird.