funny how something can happen that tells you everything you need to know.
this morning was interesting.
Promoted girl got a little attitude with me like she's hot shit..... whatever.
while "the man" was walking I happen to run upstairs to look for something that my stepdad wanted. as I was coming back this woman was coming off the elevator. I was about to step on and she asked me where she could pay her bill. I stepped back off the elevator, since I had nothing better to do, so I could walk her to where she could pay her bill. I told her that I would show her and that if no one was at the register I would do it for her. well, someone was there only they were busy so I told her I would help her. she didn't have her account number or her card. so I went to look up her account. I couldn't find it and she was getting flustered telling me how her daughter always does this for her but she couldn't that day. I tried 3 times but couldn't find her account. So I walked her to credit thinking my job was done. She clung to arm begged me not to leave because couldn't remember how she got inside the store.
we ended up calling a number to try to get her account number from our credit company. They wanted to look it up by her phone number only she couldn't remember it, at this point she had told me three times that her daughter normally did this and she seemed to be getting very worried and agitated. I figured she probably had alzheimers. Our credit person gave her the phone to talk to the rep and she listened for a moment and handed it to me, after giving he her social security card. I got her account number and payment due and took care of everything. She kept telling me not to leave her. so I walked her downstairs and by asking her some questions figured out what door she came in (she couldn't remember the word for salon... she said "that place where they put on the make up but that's not right," luckily I knew what she was getting at. She was so cute she held my hand all the way through the store. I felt so bad because she so so ashamed that she had forgotten so much and she knew she shouldn't be out by herself. She kept telling me how mad her daughter would be.
I alked her to the door and made her show me her car so that I knew this was actually the place where she had parked, and told her to go straight home. She kissed me on the cheek and hugged me goodbye... crossed me and blessed me for my help and went on her way. not a minute later I was kicking myself for letting her leave and was worried about her getting home ok but I didn't know what to do. It wasn;t like I could hold her at the store.
so I did what any nosey person would do and went upstairs and found out how to look up her phone number using her account number. I called and left a message for her daughter just checking to make sure if she got home ok, leaving my name and number for them to call me back. I worried about my little lady as I went for coffee... but when I came back there was a message for me from her daughter saying she got home ok and thanking me for my concern.
It made me so sad.
as soon as I got home I called my grandmother just to say hello. I just had this awful thought if she got senile someday and there was no one around to help her. I know most fo the people they have working the floor at work would have left this poor woman to her own devices and certainly wouldn't have checked up on her.
made me realize how wrong for my job I am...... I don't get to help anyone on a regular basis. I know that place like the back of my hand and am more than willing to spend time with people, even if they aren't there to spend money. I walked by my manager with this woman and she looked at me oddly like what the hell was I doing. And I wondered what I was doing.... not wondering if I should be helping this woman but wondering what am I doing with my life. Do I care if a form is dressed? no, not really.... I care if people can find what they are looking for.
there are customers at that store that know me by sight, know me by name. They never even see me anymore. one of them told me they thought I had quit when they ran into me last week. have we lost any customers since I left the floor? I doubt it. but still.
I'm just not doing the right thing right now. I've known I need a new job for ages.... but I somehow didn't exactly feel an urgancy even when things were horrible. I feel an urgancy now.