I bought a couple of CDs the other day but I've only listened to one of them. Listened to it meaning absorbed it like the obsessive freak that I am. Soaking in every, word, every note, every little piece about the songs I've grown attached to. Music is the only thing I do this with. I rarely watch movies more than once and I never read a book more than once. But music leaves part of my brain free I guess that makes start buliding ever changing castles in my brain while the music just goes.
A song can change my entire mood without me even thinking about.
I was walking around work in this weird fog and everyone was asking me what was wrong. Nothing was wrong I was just all caught up in what I had been listening to while I was pulling reports in my office. Nothing had changed in that half an hour but the music had brought me into this sort of introspective, almost funk.
The movies just start going in my head and I'm sure reality couldn't be any better than what I see, but I want it to be.
Part of me is just a crazy dreamer and I want these songs to be soundtrack to a cinematic moment. I want a cinematic moment. The look, the look away, the slight smile, the only two people in the entire room.
I'm just restless. I like that dangerous feeling of almost being in love. Actually being in love sucks, and not being in love sucks too. But ALMOST being in love, that's where it's at. It gives you that all over tingle. The thrill, before the patterns set in, before the other person starts itching your nerves, before you start looking around to see what's at the next table.
It's summer. That's my problem.