I tried to nap in the house of perpetual noise. The house won the battle. between the garage noise and the cd noise and the guitar playing noise I gave up. Ah well that's what I get trying to sleep at 8pm.
I swear I spend more time at Joe Breadwinner's house than at my own these days and it's not an entirely bad thing. When you leave the high dramatics of the single life you lose a taste for ever the conversation of it. These days that's all there is at my house.... conversation about being single and how much people think it sucks.
I've started to find strange pleasure in things like reading and what not while he sleeps. I look over and he's all curled up in bed with a pillow over head to block out some of the light and it'sa great feeling to know I could put down the book at any time and go snuggle up to him. We had a rough point a week ago maybe two now, where I wondered if it was gonna make it. The glow of the whole thing had faded a little and I was starting to remember how inept I am at being someone's "girlfriend" but this last week it all came back together marvelously if not better than before and I got the insane urge to laugh, or at least smile when I looked at him. I am in general a failure at relationships and luck would have it he's a rather patient fellow so I think we're going to be just fine. Better than fine, perhaps fabulous.
We could be the world's most boring couple and that's alright with me. I can not pinpoint the difference in "us" that sets it apart from all the past "us"s. I suppose in the last year I learned a lot of patience. When you have someone who is constantly keeping you waiting in every way possible you a pick up a few pointers, not that JB keeps me waiting but I've gained a bit of the magic ability to let things go. Luckily JB doesn't give me much in the way of fodder for being angry, upset or other wise perturbed. Hell I even started letting go of things he knows nothing about in the name of being a more relaxed person. It doesn't help to hold grudges or be angry, especially when what's happened is dead and buried. No time to feel sorry for one's self over slights of the past when life is unfolding so neatly and in such beautiful proportions before one's eyes. Would I wave heartily and grin if I were to meet some people from my past on the street? Possibly. I'm sure they would take it as some insult or mocking instead of just a peacful greeting? more than likely.....it's a shame that unhappy people find unhappiness in even the purest of intentions. Not to say I would strike up a conversation, mostly out of lack of something to say, but I certainly wouldn't be bitchy. I don't have the energy for that.
Oddly enough there is one person I would love to run into. Mostly just because I feel nothing. An absolute void towards them. I doubt she and will ever cross paths again oddly enough though every time I think that I am often proven wrong.
I have no idea what brought it all on really. I don't know if it's because I'm as close as I'ever been to being in love, or if I'm just happy with the cards I've been dealt.... all the cards I've been dealt (well minus the one that's kept me from winning the lotto) but everything in this world does happen for a reason and sometimes it's completely unfathomable until you have a playable hand. Not to say I have a royal flush but I think on the next deal I could take the pot.