work sucks,
I am so bored.
it's not that I don't have things to do I just don't want to do them.
I just keep thinking of all the things I could be doing where I not stuck here.
I have something on my mind I just don't know how to broach.
have I always been so bad at this sort of thing?
I used to be much more willing to make a fool of myself, not so damn afraid.
I'm probably over thinking this to the nth degree but I just can't seem to help it because I'm just not entirely sure of myself. I suppose you get a point where you've been fucked with so much you become so overly cautious that you end up notdoing anything at all. part of my really misses my "throw caution to the wind side." It appears occasionally, lately I just worry too much. How lame is that? What do I really have to worry about anyhow?
am I getting too cynical?
too bitter? too jaded?
I don't want to be, but I've just come to expect bad things.
part of me knows that things will be ok, the other part is just having a major spaz attack trying to figure out what will happen before it happens. I need to relax.
because everything will be ok, even if they royally suck it will still be ok.
I just don't want things to suck, that's all.