there were things I was suppose to tonight. I made plans. and then I broke them.
I was in one of those moods.
part lethargic, part introspective, part just plain loony. So I stayed home alone until Papi came home. I just wasn't in the mood for company so I went for a drive and then for a walk in Balboa Park. Possibly not the smartest thing in the world but I had my cellphone in my pocket and my id just in case they needed to identify my maimed body later. it wasn't that I was feeling particularly daring, the park is just a nice place to walk and think. It's so beautiful and with the exception of that one part that smelled like sewage, it smelled like honeysuckle.
the lily pads are blooming on the koi fish pond and there were a couple of ducks hanging out having a nap.... if ducks actually nap. I'm not really sure. It's kind of freaky how they turn their heads all the way around.....
I learned tonight that the Cabrillo bridge was completed in 1915 and that there is an archery range right beneath it.....
more importantly I remembered that I have a lot to be grateful for. I live in a really beautiful place. The world is a scary place. Planes crashing, weapons of mass destruction, other countries and cultures that hate everything about the country I live in and are willing to kill to prove their point. And yet for the average person in this country the most this ever touches any of them is through images on television.
I'm happy to be able to live my day to day life without having to worry if a bomb will be dropped on the building I'm in. All these people bitching about thier lives (me included) and sometimes I think the bigger picture is missed. two days from now maybe I'll be back to taking it all for granted but tonight I think I'll be pleased to sleep in my bed, grateful to have a crappy job to go to, thankful for friends and family that I can call if I'm sad or lonely, food in my stomach, and good health.
I'll have to look back on this next time I'm really feeling down about something just not going the way I would like it to, that'll probably be next week knowing me.