sometimes you can feel someone pulling away and you just don't know what to do. I feel it. it's not exactly a new thing for me. people come and go as I've learned. sometimes you know why sometimes you don't. I don't know this time. I don't get it really.

I saw someone yesterday that I never thought I would see again and it shook me up. funny how you think you're over something, how you should be over something and you're not. I didn't say anything. I wouldn't know what to say. "Hi it's nice to see you?" it wasn't really nice though. it made me sick to my to stomach. I think I know what happened finally. but I don't want to think it, though everyone else is.

The whole thing is just making me wonder what it is that I want out there. if it even exsists.

doesn't help to hear that someone's Saturday was spent being flirted up by _____________*

whatever is a girl to do? try to have a little faith I guess. not alot else that I can do.

I'm sunburned and exhausted and my stomach problems have been taking their toll. so maybe it's time to give my mind a break and relax a little. *this originally said something mean about someone I didn't know. (I wasn't even really mad at her I was mad at him because I felt like I couldn't trust him.... and guess what I couldn't.) I feel really bad about it and figured I would go change it. I ended up talking to this person and apologizing to her about it. I would have had to apologize if paul (the now ex) hadn't told her I said it in hopes to get on her good side and hook up with her. yea, that was a mere 2 days after we broke and we were still trying to be friends...... nice guy eh?*