I'm just pissed off.
though I'm not entirely sure what I'm pissed off at. I think I'm mostly pissed off at me, for letting someone get to me when there really was no reason to. it's funny how people I could careless about still have the ability to annoy the fuck out of me.
Someone from the past got in touch with me today. what is up with my past lately? and et me say I drop to my knees and say a little prayer of thanks that things lasted the very very short amount of time they did with this person
I am still uncertain why this person got in touch with me. he says it was because there are things about me that he missed. and that's why by then end of the conversation in his words I am doomed to have horrible rlationships for the rest of my life because I'm looking for someone to fix me and I have so many issues that why would anyone ever want to be with me and he's sure glad that he's not with me anymore. but uh yea he misses me in friend sorta way. sure, whatever. pardon me if I have a hard time believeing that load of bullshit.
oh did I mention according to him it was implied that I am horrible girlfriend material where as he makes a wonderful boyfriend...... I see that's why I have a boyfriend who is wonderful and he is single. yes of course. excatly. I admit that was bitchy. so sue me
anyhow this got me so upset. this whole conversation just amde me so mad. not because I care about his opinion but I guess it was just the principal that anyone would not find me as wonderful as I find myself these days *snerk* ok so I do think I'm a fairly great gal but far from perfect. though it would seem he does find himself to be perfect.... anyway.
I got upset because I was already mad at myself over something completely unrelated. something concerning the boy and some chick, who we're not entirely sure who she is. it would seem that she may or may not have some sort of crush on my boy and I'm rather unamused by this. anyhow I'm trying to not let it bother me. I'm not worried in the sense that oh he's gonna dump me for her or anything like that. it's just good to know who likes your guy so you can make sure they know he is your guy. immature? why yes it is am I gonna kick her ass? nope. will I ever even speak to her? probably not. Do I wish he would mention to her when she aims him that he has a girlfriend? I sure would, but considering his track record of introducing me to people as his girlfriend, and being damn proud of the fact that I am his girl I can't really mark him off too many points for not saying anything. I'm pretty sure once she knows he's not single she'll stop talking to him and I think he's just surious to find out who she is. which so am I.
But having this on my mind did not help when the former fling starts ripping into me that I'm only in relationships because I want some guy to save me from myself and how I have all these issues and I'm so fucked up and why that's why he didn't want to be with me and how he just knows that I'm going to ruin the realtionship I'm in ect.
well all I have to say to that is: I'm not the person I was when I was with him. also he was not the person for me, I may have issues but so does he. at least I admit I have mine. and he's a mean person. he never did get why I didn't want to be his friend and I guess I should have just told him straight out at the time. "Because I think you're an asshole" but I was trying to be at least sorta of nice...... silly me.