well crap.
as always there is drama where there need not be. Mostly it just makes me want to crawl in hole. with everything else going on I just would like to play possum indefinately.
odd how you can talk to certain people about only certain things. not nessicarily because somehting is a topic you can't touch just because some people get things better than others, and other things the other person understands better.
I have varied interests and I suppose you can't find a group of people that are all into the exact same things you are.
there are opportunities for me raining from the sky when I least epxected it and didn't really want it. Stuff I can't really talk about. Stuff I'm not thinking about.... oh that is going to be construed the entirely wrong way.
there is a list of names on my tongue and none are anyone that anyone knows. and that's how I like it. my world could get even more complicated very soon.
often I say things and I only half mean them, it's not that I'm lying at that second it's how I feel until I settle down. I'm not entirely settled down but I feel that I shouldn't let them pass me by. One or Two or Three, especially.... oh that makes me sound bad......
I'm just making neat little boxes and maybe it's wrong to do things that way. but it's just how I am. everything is connected but I don't want things to flow into others. on one hand I have this on the other I have something else entirely.
this is coming out all wrong. I worry about things sometimes but I'm not doing anything really to screw up what I have. I'm not looking in places I shouldn't despite what people might think... my i's are dotted and my t's are crossed though sometimes the words are misspelled.
so I sit and try to figure things out when I want to do is just tell everyone to chill.
I don't want to be checked up on,
I don't want to be questioned,
things are how I say they are.