I'm a bit of an emotional roller coaster these days. Nothing out of hand just moody. One minutes things are good and then things just take a turn towards shitty. I suppose I just get discouraged by everything. I manage to pep myself back up and think positivly but then it starts the inevitable slide back. I simply can't seem to make up my mind about anything. Well I make up my mind I just can't stick to it. I'm either not thinking about things enough or too much. It could possibly be too much.
I really grouched at JB when he emailed me. It was possibly a bit much but then again he sort of had it coming. making me wait on some sort of word from him, playing the wounded puppy.... As much as I would like to put my foot down and say "You owe me some consideration, please treat my feelings like they matter instead of just pushing me to the side because you're a big wimp and you don't want to deal with the fact that I'm probably a little mad at you." He seems to have that gene..... it's the same one my Dad has that says if you stick your head in the sand long enough well everything will be ok. But you know what it won't be. I have that gene too but I've done my best to stare it in the face and not run away and hide when things are rough.
I think he would find that people get a loss less bent with him if he just says hey maybe what I did wasn't so nice I'm sorry. He seems to hide behind the fact that everyone knows he's a nice guy, and he uses it to his advantage to do some not nice things sometimes. He seems to be oblivious to a lot of things about himself.... or maybe he just pretends he is because then he has to deal with it. I have no clue. It would be of little use to talk about it because he can't take it. He's too sensitive it would become this personal thing and he would hate my guts. Am I weird because I can live with someone's flaws? Because I can see all this and still like the person, am I all that different from everyone else?
I think I'm going back to bed I don't want to think anymore. I just want to turn my brain off. Stop thinking about work and what might happen there, stop thinking about what will happen when JB and I talk and if I want to go on the date that I was asked out on by someone on Sat. and especially no more thinking about the roomates they are unrealistically irriating to me right now.
I wish I lived alone......