I wonder sometimes if my life had stayed on a certain course how it would be different. if different people that have come and gone had stayed who would I be now?
Who would they be? would it really be all that different? I think it would
I can't say that I don't regret a thing, because there are some things that could have happened differently, but that's how life is, trial and error. But I don't think I would wish for any other outcome than the one that has occured. I've managed to spring clean so many bad things out and open up to so many good things. I remember when JB and I broke up and we talked about depression and feeling worthless, ect he asked me how I dug myself out of the hole. I don't know really. I think not having all the negativity around helped a lot, there were just so many things that in the guise of lifting me up were really holding me down. Occasionally kicking me while I was down there. Sure I still get sad sometimes or I get mad sometimes but it's totally different..... it's not a dark cloud following me all the time. it just rains on my parade and then goes away these days. I guess I just have a lot of random things on my mind. Things, places, people I haven't thought about in years.
For once I actually have a plan, never what I imagined I'd be doing but I don't mind it so much. It's a long term goal. A clear and defined long term goal. Plus all my fun little side projects.
I was looking at culinary schools online, I think that would be so much fun. my roomate asked me why I never did anything like that and I guess it's because I never used to cook before. Though I think culinary school would be a bit much because I'm fairly picky about what I cook and they make you learn everything. (plus it's $10,000 for regular classes and pastry school is $18,000) I guess just a regular cooking class somewhere could be really fun. Or I'll just keep experimenting in my own kitchen until I learn how to make anything I want.
Speaking of food I should eat before I go to work. my tummy is grumbling.