well.
today may very well be an ugly day.
not really feeling too hung over thank god.
I did not call Eric last night.
But I did call Ryan, it was not pretty. it was a train wreck. he and I are not going to make it I don't think. again I have been given the "I'm not looking for a girlfriend" speech. *sigh* if I had a dollar for everytime I heard that I could buy me another bottle of booze and start all over. um no, just kidding, we won't be doing that.
it just seems like everytime I let myself get involved , let myself really like someone, it's never a two way street. the other person never likes me as much as I like them. I guess he went out on a date with someone else. he can't make time to see me but he can make time for other people so I can see where this is going. That's right kids, I'm probably getting dumped, again. well I guess when you're good at something................. and I'm good at getting dumped.
and in the middle of my crying whining jag who logs on? You got it. Jason. I was is no mood for him. I told him to call me. he didn't. he seems to think he has a chance in hell. he does not. he blew it a LONG time ago
I also commited the ultimate in drunken sins. I started talking to Chris asking him why he didn't love me way back when. I think I scared the crap out of him. he got all worried and wanted to call me, wanted me to call him. for drunken crying fest it actually wasn't too bad. I was suppose to call him last night but I laid down to wait until I could call him and fell asleep. with the bedroom light on and my phone book in my hand.
and even though I was drunk I woke up at 6..... oh that sucks. but I was able to go back to bed. I may do that again.