this whole thing is getting to me way more than it should I suppose.
what should it all really matter anyway. I know the truth. I'm not the villian. she's not the villan we just have different definaitions of friendship. to me friendship is about loyalty, honest, sharing and being there for the other person. everyone is flawed in big ways and small ways. and the only people who will ever love you unconditionally is your parents in my opinion. everyone else in your life you have to treat right or they won't stay in your life (not that I'm advocating not treating your parents right.... treat your parents nice they may have money to leave you in their will.) also remeber those people that you want to have in your life you need to pay attention to who is treating them right too.
I don't get rid of friends because of things like convience, I emliminate people in my life when they treat me wrong. I'll try as hard as I can to look the other way and I may suceed for awhile but eventually it catches up. eventually you look at the person and wonder why do you put up with it? They hurt you over and over and over again but because you care about them because you think they care about you, you try to hold it together. hoping evetually you'll see how much they hurt you. but they never do. you can cry and you can scream but you can't hange who they are and in the end you're just tired of being hurt.
eventually things end and it's painful because even though they've hurt you they still mean something to you. there just comes a point when you have to walk away and not let them hurt you anymore.
and it's so hard to walk away. how do you unlearn all the things you taught yourself to try to hold it all together? it's very confusing.
and then there is everyone else observing the melt down. some people don't understand why it matters so much. other people are caught in the middle. it's really not fair any of it to anyone.
I could just start listing every horrible thing, slinging mud, and calling names. but why bother? why make some grand scale statement about the whole mess about how someone was betrayed and how horrible it all was and who did what to who. but why? to try to get the innocent bystanders to my side? the old saying goes that there three sides to every story. yours, mine, and the truth.
here's the truth
everyone screwed up,
everyone hurts,
let it the fuck go.
that's what I'm trying to do at least. starting this minute, this second. I want my life to go on. without her in it. I don't care who is right and who is wrong, who fucked over who because those things will never jive. there will never be a consensus. no winner, just losers. it's all even and square from this second on.