I'm letting myself get way way way too sucked into this already.
I was thinking about cancelling my other dates this week. Am I high?
No life will go on as usual, there will be no ditching of backup plans. I'll just have to go wrangle up some new boys if things don't work out with Jason. which who knows if they will or not. I'm trying to be optimistic, because I always expect the worst and it happens so maybe if I expect the best that will happen.
I want this to work. Probably too badly, that's why I'm so hard on him. And believe me he's noticed.
because of his past he's a control freak when it comes to women. He wants it all to be his way or no way. I think he's worried about liking me too much and getting himself into a situation he can't get out of. But what's not seeing is.... it's already too late. he keeps coming back around he can't stay away no matter how much I frustrate him and annoy him, or how hard on him I am he comes back. and so do I.
now we're both just waiting for something to happen I guess to either tie us to each other so we quit drifting off or to knock us apart for good.
is he the "one"? hell if I know. but I would like to find out.
I'm stupid, I fall too easy. I have to stay more cautious with this one or else I'll end up really fucked up..... more than I already am. he has noticed what a loon I am and wants to know who did it, but I won't say anything since they live so close that's trouble I just don't need.
I think I might just go back to bed. because why the hell I'm up right now I have no clue. It's my day off I should sleep until noon or so, and I'm up at 8:30..... I can not explain how wrong that is.