I'm just sitting here thinking.
I feel this urgent need to change my life. right this minute. not gonna happen.
I just want to, for this minute, do something else.
but everyone knows you can't change overnight.
so I'm just sitting here.
I feel like I'm on information overload. Too many things running through my mind. I'm so restless.
I can focus down on anything. I want to do something with my brain but I just can't buckle down.
I have this urge to be someone else tonight.
I don't know who. I can't be anyone but me I know that. but I just wish sometimes.
I know that means that there are things about myself that I don't like and I should just be happy with who I am BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.
it's not exactly like that. I just wish that for night I could be fantastically talented and do something to be able to show to say "I did this." But I don't have that. I'm not a pianter or musician or anything like that... tonight will pass and I'll have nothing to show for it but a lame ass entry in my journal.
I'm still on my lightening and thunder wish. I'll know it when it happens right? even if it's a slow burn instead of forest fire.
D told me the strangest saying.
"un clavo saca otro clavo."
one nail replaces another.
it's means basically you'll forget about someone when you meet someone else. That's the only way I can explain it at least. you may think right now someone is "the one" until you meet the one and then you'll just wonder what the hell you were thinking about that other person.
I just feel like everyone else knows something I can't grasp. everyone else gets it but it's sitting on the edge of my brain and it won't sink in.
everyone else seems to know what I'm looking for and what's gonna happen to me but me. I almost find it funny. almost.