it seems everywhere I look there is opportunity.... if only I could change one bit about me. a different bit for every opportunity. if I tried to sieze them all I would become a whole 'nother person. I'm not sure if I want to be someone else though. or maybe I'm just too lazy to want to change. I don't know.
I want something the first time I typed that it came out "someone" instead of something. what does that say? I'm looking for something only I'm not sure what it is, or if we want to go with accidnetal inital thought... who it is. These past cuple of monthes I've bounced between wanting to be swept off my feet and wanting to be left alone. I'm not sure where I stand and I'm in my own backyard.
it doesn't take a lot to turn my head these days, but just as quickly as my head turns my eyes drift back to where they originated from. I'm chasing things I can never have and throwing away things within my grasp. I've never been one to aim high, I'm a settler, always have been. I used to be able to fool myself into thinking what I was settling for was what I really wanted, somewhere I got smart to my own games and I just don't believe myself anymore. I know what is out of my league and what is below me but I can't seem to find middle ground even if it's marked on a map with a big X.
all these opportuinties and none are the one I want. so what do I do? do I let them pass me by and wait for the one that might never come? or do I go after things I don't nessecarily want but I might want someday and chance loosing the thing I really want right now that may or may not come? or do I just eat some butterfinger bb's and resign myself to the fact that I'm gonna be the old scary lady with 70 cats that lives down the block.....