remember me? I'm still alive. Things are complicated, per the usual.
lost a boy met a boy.
I'm all confused.
Sometimes things seem too good to be true. and then some sort of radar goes off that perhaps you're missing some sort of the big picture. Little bells go off in your head that maybe something is not quite right and yet maybe you're just being paranoid because you're used to things being not quite right.
(Mr. B&B, he knows (of-ish) people of your circle..... we'll discuss later.)
sometimes I get a funny feeling in my stomach and I don't know if it's me or if it's him.
We're fairly well suited thus far but I think he has some secrets that he's not exactly hiding but it's not coming out in a rush of forthcomingness (probably not a word) either. Odd things come out that raise an eyebrow and there is no elaboration and I don't ask questions because I don't think I want to know actually. Ok I do want to know but I'm not going to ask, because I'm not really sure what it is I would ask, I'm not sure what I'm looking for there.
and then there is JB and all the unfinshed buisness I keep dragging up there. I just don't think it can ever be finished and that's why it comes up. There is no neat and tidy package. Note: boys are bigger gossips than girls.
I'm sure I see it all differently than he does. His capacity for emotion seems so diminished and then he does something surprising..... and then of course blows it. I'll always expect better of him than he expects of himself which makes a friendship there difficult to put it mildly.
As for the new boy, who shall be forthcoming referred to as Circus Folk.... or until I think of anything better. There could be something there. Maybe, I don't know. I try not ask questions. Of myself or of him. There is a possibilty we're too much alike. Too similar of a history for it to ever be much more than it is now or it could be the perfect situation. I'll be overthinking it all for awhile.