well this has been a 24 hours of ups and downs and a generalized feeling of "huh?"
starting last night.
why is it the one time when someone asks what time you'll be somewhere, when they never ask and you're always there around the same time anyway is the one night you are completely late and everything goes wrong. the boyfriend asked what time I would be at the club. I told him, 9:45 around the same time I get there the past few times I have gone. actual arrival 10:15. I hate being late, I hate the feeling of someone having to wait on me, so I was a smidge peeved with myself for not getting out the door on time.
when I did get over there we went to one of his friend's house to say happy birthday to her. in his defense I was warned. but I kinda didn't know that I was walking into the den of alternative sexuality. nice people, but it's just odd to walk into a room of people try to kinda gauge the scene figure out who is with who and come to startling concept that it would seem they are all getting it on with each other. I thought my friends were all pretty open and whatnot but really compared to these people, they are all just dabbling with alternitive lifestyles. so it was a little awkward, I tried not to look like I was a freak or standoffish but it was all just a little too strange.
then at the club I actually got hit on for the first time (there, not like the first time ever..... just clarifying. I mean I'm a dork but not THAT big of a dork.) luckily the guy didn't take the brush off too badly.
also sort of in the getting hit on realm, I was up on the box dancing at one point I look down and there is some drunk chick (blonde Asian, actually) hanging all over her boyfriend with her boobs about to pop right out of her top pointing at me, smiling, waving and *gasp* flirting with me. Later I saw her grabbing just random chicks hands as they walked by so I think she was about the girls.... any girls. and if her boyfriend were my boyfriend and I looked like her I might be looking at the girls a heck of a lot more seriously. or I'd dump him. probbaly the latter.
And for Sara's Bad Ass Motherfucker file. I look down from the box and some guy is trying to unzip my purse which is sitting on the corner of the box, I hunch over slap my hand down on his shoulder hard enough to make him jump and ask "Would you like to touch my purse again?" he looks at me looks away and says "Uh no." Thanks what I thought fuckface. he was about 2 seconds from getting the kiss of my boot upside his head.
now, onto work today. a very good friend of mine at work addmitted to me that she's so unhappy with her living situation that she cut herself, yes CUT herself. Ugh I hate that shit, I'm like the only person she told too with the exception of her boyfriend who caught her doing it and her best friend who asked her about the bandages on her arm. what the hell kinda of advice can I give her? I know nothing about this shit. I don't want to say the wrong thing and I'm worried about her. on one hand she is a grow up though she's not acting like it, and I think she figured that cutting herself isn't going to solve her problems and that it was just plain stupid but to even let things get to that point is beyond me. I'm glad she told me so that I can watch out for her as much as I can, but on the other hand now I have the burden of watching out for her. I feel selfish saying it's a burden but it is, I'm incompentent when it comes to these things how do I know what to say to her? I'm a little tired of being everyone's mom and looking out for everyone. but I know if I don't then no one will. I just bring it all on myself anyway. I put myself in the position to mother them so I shouldn't bitch when they come to depend on me. what's going to happen to all of them if I find another job and I quit? *sigh* I shouldn't worry about it because it's not like I've even started looking for something else. besides everyone is replaceable, they'll all find someone to cling to, to watch over them. I hope. because someone has to.