I took myself out for coffee. me and my notebook to try to write something anything just to be out of the house.
I got hit on.
it's funny when a guy won't come up to you and instead sends his friend. I felt kinda bad because obviously the guy is shy and stuff. I lied and said I wasn't single.
is that mean? should I have been honest and just told his friend I wasn't interested?
it couldn't have been the cute guy at the table behind me hitting on me. of course not.
I should comment on something that happened today. I think I get upset too easily. "J" not Jason... just a guy friend with a J name and I were talking today and he was mildly getting on my case about my little crush on boy in NC. giving me crap about how I don't meet guys who live close and why I spend all my time on the 'net. because I'm a dork that's why. all of my girl friends live so far away it's hard to go out by yourself and meet people. it's not that I don't want to meet people around here, I do. I think there is something weird abut California. you never see a cute guy with an only sort of attractive girlfriend but you see lots of only semi-cute guys with very pretty girlfriends. I'm too picky I guess and boys here just don't think I'm all that unless they are someone I find not so hot. shallow of me, maybe. I've tried giving guys that I don't find very attractive a chance I have and it never works out. it's not that I have some jones for the unobtainable. I ca't just think "oh you live far away and it will never happen so therefor you are no longer hot and sweet and stuff" it doesn't work that way. I can't help it that I like Brock. I'm not holding my breath. and I'm not passing up anything that might come along because of this silly crush on him. *sigh*
I just feel kinda pathetic that I can't meet anyone here like him. I'm not gonna say I'm not lonely. I am. and I often wish I had someone, but maybe there is a reason that I don't. I don't know. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for really. but I've been feeling lately that whatever it is that I'm looking for maybe it's not here.
and that is how I feel about that