so I'm sitting here in front of a blank screen with a million things running through my mind and not enough of them are fully formed to even talk about.
things are shakey and unclear. and possibly very good or very bad I'm so turned around I don't know yet.
I'm looking for a new job.
Im kinda scared I don't really know how to do anything other than what I do. Maybe no one will hire me I don't know. I actually cut all my fingernails short so I could type better again. which will be nessecary when I go a looking for a new a job.
Why yes, I am absolutely terrified.
Everytime I think I've servered all ties to my old my life and moved into a new one something happens. Friday nght shook me and didn't shake me all at once. I'm not afraid of them. Really they are quite laughable. if anything holds Jymm and the rest back from stardom it'll be "them" with their geeky fandom. oh well. I am so glad I have no part in all of it now. it's just all so very weird.
and then there is the boy situation in my life. as in there is no boy in my non life. which is weird. yes weird is the catch all word of the day.... things had been so full socially for awhile there but nothign was what I was looking for maybe I don't know what I'm looking for. I haven't a clue. I figure when it comes along I'll just know..... it'll hit me over the head I'll see stats and little tweeting birds and I'll know "this is it". or I'll have no clue and let it walk right past me never knowing that was it, walking through the rest of my life with a vauge empty feeling and not knowing how to fill it...... dear God that whole thought makes me want to drink myself into a stupor in an alley somewhere. ok everyone cross your fingers for stars and tweeting birds... kay?