*disclaimer- this is probably not about you... unless I was actually close enough to touch you this weekend it's not about you.* there is always a problem in trying to make people understand why you see things a certain way or why something bothers you. it seems impossible to fathom that anything should bother anyone if it doesn't bother you. you can try as you might to see it how someone else sees it, why it bothers them why it hurts their feelings but because you're not them if they can't explain it well enough you'll never get it.
something happened this weekend that really really bothered me. hurt my feelings, upset me, made me angry, how ever you would like to put it. it would seem I wasn't explaining myself well enough and try as I might I couldn't seem to do a better job than I was.
I was just so incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation and I never want to feel that way. I hate that feeling. when the pit of your stomach drops and there is this horrible sick sensation..... it's just so dissapointing. maybe I expect too much from people but that's just how I am. I expected it to go differently and it didn't when I should have known better. my mother taught me a long time ago that if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem and I guess I just didn't see anything that screamed solution at that minute. The arguement goes on and on. I don't see an end in sight. and I just don't know what to do.....
I don't ever want to be uncomfortable around you like that. I don't want to turn around and wonder what the fuck is going on and why aren't you making it stop. I just don't know what to do about it.