This happens very rarely but occasionally I just wake up angry. I was angry when I woke up this morning I laid in bed mentally berating someone. The odd thing being I didn't think I was really mad at this person, but you know what. I was wrong. I'm fucking pissed. I want to scream and yell and ask how the fuck dare you?!? But what would be the point? Practically ancient history these days.
My roomates have been telling me that I'm grouchy. I want to say it's because you all are annoying the fuck out of me and I just want to be left alone. My tolerance is in short supply. I went from never being here to being here all the time and it's taking it's toll on me.
I had a great Thanksgiving though. My mom is the best, per usual. From other memebers of the family I got the "where is your 'friend'?" question. When I explained we weren't together anymore I got that same old look of dissapointment. That 'the girl can not keep a boyfriend for more than few months' look. Like I'm some kind of freak. I jsut want to say "I'm sorry that I'm not what you wanted. I'm sorry I'm not married off having babies or something. I'm sorry but that isn't what I want."
I need to mellow out I'm getting cranked about all this stupid little shit. It all means nothing. So I shouldn't let it get to me. It was pointed out to be by a fairly observant person that I'm rather high strung. I suppose I had never really thought of it like that before. I don't think I just snap or anything I just worry about things and work myself into little frenzies over stuff. He's like a million times more easy going than I am. It's possible that I have never in my life met someone as mellow as he is. even after being awake for 48 hours there was not an ounce of grouchiness. It's possible he's not a man he's a machine..... there are people who pretend to be easy going and just bottle it all up inside and take it out on the wrong person and then there are people who are actually easy going and just let stuff roll off of them. He's actually easy going. Basically, it's doomed. Oil and water...... but it should be interesting trying to mix it up.