Ah I forgot to mention it was Happy Birthday Becky! a couple of days ago. Luckily I knew I would forget so I remembered to call her early in the week and sing the happy birthday song. Better early than late right? Well in this case she gets early and late. Yay her! (note to self: must email her and give her the gossip)
Things are well in my world. Finally got caught up on my sleepy time last night. In bed a little after 9 got up around 10. The only down side is I have a slight crick in my back from sleeping so long.
crapola this entry just added itself before I was done with it. anyhow. I've gotten the distinct impression that JB is highly annoyed or upset with me. I just can't entirely figure out what I may have done. You know besides the obvious I started going on dates with someone else because I couldn't hold my breath until my face was blue waiting for him to make up his mind. But he doesn't nessicarily have a right to be annoyed about that. He did break up with me after all and he didn't want to get back together and he definately was thinking it would never work out so I don't understand what the deal is. I would really like to be friends with him. I would like to think it's possible. But everytime I talk to him he's so short with me like he really doesn't want to talk to me in the least. IF that is the case then he just needs to tell me that he doesn't want me in his life.... he needs to really let me know what's going on before I get super pissed about being in the dark. But he won't. He holds it all in. He'll be mad at me and then smile to my face like everything is cool. I fucking hate that. If you're mad be mad. Maybe he's not mad at all, I don't know. Perhaps I'm just catching him at bad times the couple of times I have talked to him lately. Things are going pretty swimmingly otherwise........ you seriously find out new things about people you know all the time. Sorry this one is not up for sharing with the general public but it was rather interesting. I've been spending sometime with someone and it's been fun. It's flattering when you find that someone has been interested in you for awhile and you never knew it. I guess this sorta happens to be occasionally to think back. But it hasn't happened in awhile. Maybe I'm rushing things going on dates so soon but I couldn't see myself passing up the chance to get to know this person better. eventually I had to choose do I wait for JB or do I try this new thing? I felt in my guts that JB was just not happening. I knew it was realy done no matter how attracted to each other we might be, no matter what feelings might or might not still be there..... I knew it wasn't going to happen. It was the same story from the beginning whether I wanted to hear it or not. He just didn't feel about me the way I felt about him. Why should I stick around for that axe to drop? Obviously if I'm asking that question I do feel mildly guilty though I have no reason to. Yes part of me feels like I cheated on him even though he had long since dumped me..... 3 weeks can be considered long since, yes? Completely irrational guilt.... I am so good at that. And then somewhere in there someone else comes along and makes a hint. And I start thinking, or maybe to be honest I had been thinking before but just mildly in passing not any serious thinking. And he had been thinking.... for awhile. And why the hell not. I'm single. I like him. He likes me. I might have possibly already screwed up the entire thing before it really went anywhere and if so oh well then it is what it is. If he can deal with that fact that I'm rather nutty then who knows somewhere down the line it might be something. Or it might not. I don't know and for now this time around it's not so bad not to know.