I'm all mentally distraught.... oh yes, it was a stay up all night and completely overthink everything you could possibly ever overthink
from The Potential, to how underlyingly upset with Dirty Art Boy, to how openly upset I get with my co workers (BECAUSE THEY ARE MORONS, felt the need to emphasize there)and other generally irritating things (not that Potential is not an irritiating thing I shall clarify.... I'm just a fuck up and stuff and could posibly ruin, oh, just everything. lets not get into my current "I'm not worthy" thought pattern)
I'm really starting to think that perhaps I shouldn't go to this art show on Saturday. I have some hidden resentments that I hadn't quite faced until I really started thinking about it. I'm pretty inwardly upset with DAB, I guess I just feel like he sort of abandoned me (which he did, thanks alot jerk.) I understand why, that whole falling in love crapola... but I'm still finding him to be incredibly lame for doing that. There is no way he and I could ever have maintained our closeness, but we could have kept some of it. and now we realy have nothing but a phone call every couple of years proclaiming "Guess what? I'm not dead...." and well that blows I don't know why I even bother.
tomorrow we'll dive into my mom's guilt complex, because she's all upset about a dream I had...... could everyone else pospone going crazy until I'm done please? I still have a good couple of years of crazy in me....